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December 2011

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No! Not Ro too!

Oh will it never end?  I've been away, my friends.  Dealing with the losses of several of my family members, just too filled with sadness and unable to post or participate in your lives.  For many months, it was all I could do to drag myself to work and home again, so I stayed away from you all.  I'm sorry for that.  I missed you all dreadfully.  I've lost a mother, an aunt, and a godson, but tonight, I've lost a sister friend.

So today, out of the clear blue sky, something made me come here again.  And the very first thing I saw was Drake's post in Ro's journal.  And then I read back through her last few posts with tears running down my face.  I was so convinced that she'd be well and would have beaten this awful thing by now, by sheer force of will alone, that it never dawned that she might not.  I fully expected to see a post about her recent tumors not growing and how the chemo was working to shrink them.  Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think she wouldn't make it.  Never.

Right now, I'm too emotional to post much more tonight.  But Ro, you were always my hero.  You always will be.  Tonight, YOU are immortal in our hearts and you live in our memories.

Hugs to you all - Ro's extended family and friends here in Cyberland.  Tonight, we grieve together; tomorrow, and every day after, until we see her again, we celebrate Ro for everything she was and for all the light she brought into this world.


I've been worried about you... not even a response to my email. I am so sorry hon to hear that your silence has been due to so much loss. *hugs you*

Ro always wanted to meet you. We talked often about one day dragging you off to the Friendly's near us, the site where she and I and a couple others met for the first time after being on the Ares lists together. *sad smile*

I share your feelings about not really ever thinking she wouldn't beat it. It may have been naive on my part, but she was that strong! If you want to talk hon, you know where to find me.

In the meantime...*virtual hugs* as we grieve the loss of such a dear friend and one hell of a woman!
I'd been checking your site off and on for a long time -- think I just checked earlier this week. I was definitely surprised to find a post when I went to my friends' page and was so sorry to hear your life has not been going well. Please accept my sympathy.

Life is too fast and too sad.
Thank you so much for your concern and for checking in on me. It was a tough time, losing so many people in a short time, and although it was difficult, I have such a great friends who care about me and each other - including you! Thank you. I'm reading your journal now and am loving your new house. We're hoping to be in ours this summer. YAY!
Thanks so much for the hugs and the kind words. It means a lot. I didn't mean to intentionally ignore you. I just stayed away from just about everything on-line for a while to process it all, but that's just my way. Hope you're doing better and I promise to be better about staying in touch.

Karesia -

LOL...I think I posted your reply in the wrong spot! Sorry!

Silly me...
Oh man, Bella, I'm so sorry to hear about your losses. I've been worried about you, but didn't know what to do besides wait impatiently to hear from you again. I'd hoped that you were busy with *good* things. Again, I'm so sorry.

Valerie dropped me an email to let me know about Ro. Tonight, I'm at Kinko's and thinking about how lucky I've been to know such wonderful people like you (thank the gods we've been able to meet) and Ro (who I wish I had been able to meet) and Val and... well, just everybody.

Lots of love is being sent your way. Give yourself and John hugs for me.

Someday... someday we'll meet face to face again.
I may have been away from here for a while, but you were never out of my thoughts. Most of the things I was busy with were the good things, but I lost several close family members in a short time, including my very much loved 12 yr old godson, who John and I adored from the moment he was born. He was diagnosed with a an agressive form of leukemia in early fall. His mother is my old college roommate, and she and her husband live in Stonecreek, Ohio, a small town a couple of hrs east of Columbus. Their 3 boys are all our godsons, but this one was my special pet. He was named for John and they were great buddies. He came and stayed with us every summer for a couple of weeks and we went there a lot during the yr. Because there is no real pediatric hospital near them, Bev brought him to Children's Hospital here in Columbus, which is world-class for the treatment of childhood cancers. She stayed with us while he was being treated there, but he died in early December. It was one of the hardest funerals I ever had to make it through.

Then my aunt, the one I had been spending so much time with, died the week before Christmas. She was elderly, but was very lively until the day she died.

But everyone goes through losses at some time and has to deal with it. I have so many good things in my life, including you and all my friends that knowing that you all are here when I need to talk is a great comfort.

Now...what's going on with you? I'm going back to read through the journal and catch up.

Much love!
I've been thinking of you constantly since you last posted in your sadness, Judy, and holding you in my heart, never dreaming that your sadness was ongoing to such a degree. I'm so very sorry.

I knew well why you might not have been here much after your mother passed, because I haven't been all that active on life's wheel since my own mother's passing earlier too, but to think you've been through this...I'm just so sorry.


As we all sit tonight weeping at the loss of our good and precious Lynn, maybe we could hold each other across the world and remember her and celebrate the gift of her life.

I honestly truly didn't think she would lose the battle, because she was so strong and I was in awe of that strength in her.
Sweetie,you'll never know how much it means to me that you keep me in yout thoughts. You and Pogo are always in mine too. There wasn't a day that I didn't think of you and be glad that you have her in your life. She brings me joy just because she brings so much joy into your life.

You've been through so much to get where you are today. I can't think of a more loyal friend or a stronger person as an example. Thank you for being both.

Now, give that little girl a hug for me and give yourself one too.

John and I send you much love across the miles!
(((((((((((((Bella)))))))))))) Thank YOU for being the amazing, inspiring woman you are. And thank you for loving my dearest little girl the way you do. She truly is a gift from God, and such gratitude lies in my heart tonight as I type this and she lies beside me on the living room floor on her back with her little back legs tucked up against my thigh, sound asleep after much playing together. I'll be sure to give her a hug from you.

Much love always to you and John too, dearest Bella.

I hope your heart is in a gentle place as I type this.